He looked away, not being able to look into her face. He knew that this moment would come. The moment she would realise that she wouldn't fit into his life, because he didn't have the freedom to be who he was. "I..." He slowly moved away, placing his feet on the floor. "I'm sorry." His eyes started to burn, but he was able to keep the tears back. "I can't give you that, El. You know who and what I am. In here, I'm Cass, but out there? I'm Prince Cassian of the United Kingdom. I can't be who I actually am. I have to be their Prince and later on their Duke." Once his brother qould ascend the throne. "I can't give you a life of freedom."

This time, he couldn't hold back the tears. "I don't want to." His voice was vibrating. "But... but you will hate this life. You just said it yourself. You aren't ready to change who you are in front of my people. You want to be yourself. And I understand that, Elowen. I truly do, because it's what I want as well. But... I can't.... Being part of this family, it's..... it's a cage. And I can't trap you against your will."

"You're turning my words around." This wasn't what he had said! "Yes, I love you for who you are and that will never change, Elowen. I don't want you to change, because you are perfect the way you ar in my eyes." He took a deep breath. "But my life does't allow somebody to be themselves in front of the public. There are rules and protocols I and my partner have to follow. Lines we can't cross even if we don't like it. I can't change that, Elowen. Believe me, I would have done so if I could, but I can't."

He felt terrible. All he wanted to do was reach out and pull El into her arms and stop her tears. But he didn't get the impression that she would want him to do that. So instead, he slung his arms around his body, letting the tears just roll down his cheeks. "I always reminded you of who I am, El. I kept telling you what you were getting into." A shudder shook his body. "And you kept insisting that you knew about all of that. I... I.... I had the hope that you could accept this life." A sob slipped his lips. "I don't want to leave you. I wish I was an ordinary guy. Someone who can give you the life you want and deserve. But I'm not, El. I never was. And it ripps my heart apart."

"Tell me what to do." The words sounded as broken as he felt. "You said that you can't live the life I have, but I can't change my life. I'm stuck here. What should I do El?"

He closed his eyes and burried his face into his knees. "I... I don't understand what you're trying to offer", he honestly said. "You say that you will do this with me even tough you know what that means, but at the same time, you don't want to change. How... how do you imagine this, El? If... if you don't want to follow the rules.... the papers will already bad mouth you if you walk in front of my older broder and his partner. Already small shit like this will turn into a scandal."

He slowly came out of hiding between his knees and even managed to look up into her eyes. "I.... I'm still confused." He was sure that he looked terrible right now. The tears were still streaming down his cheeks and his eyes were probably red. He must look like an extremly lost child. "You say, you are ready to follow the rules, but you refused to go to lessons for these rules twice."